Vida and Divorce

I am new to blogging and I felt the need to share the nightmare that I have been living.  Yes, in a sense I am hoping to find blogging therapeutic and I also hope to help others know that they are not alone if they too are living a similar nightmare.

Two years and five months ago I filed for divorce.  Up to this date we have yet to finalize temporary orders or go to mediation.  My husband and I stepped out of a cardboard box and together we built quite a bit.  We had a great marriage and relationship, until…yes, he hired a young secretary and traded me in.  Prior to that we had planned to renew our vowels in a Methodist church downtown S.A. and take a European vacation for our honeymoon.  The venue, church, cruise, wedding attire for groomsmen and bridesmaids had all been paid for along with over 300 wedding invitations sent out.  Coincidentally, the date to our wedding at the church continuously had to be corrected until it was too late to correct the date and the wedding had to be cancelled.  When we decided to go ahead with the cruise, coincidentally; my husband’s passport could not be found.   It was when the school principal and myself, the counselor were out doing a home visit when we came upon a home being built by “our”company.  I had my principal stop so that I could get off and make some inquiries.  I learned that day that my husband was using our company, employees, and all other resources to build “the” secretary an elaborate home.   This was the day I filed for divorce.

My employees were shocked to see me and could only say sorry.

This is the two-story bar and game room that sits outside my husband’s paramour’s home that my husband had built using our company and resources. The house also has two guest houses, a pool, and outdoor pool bar.

Why?

The real reason behind this blog that I have created is not because I am mad about being traded in. It’s because I can’t get divorced from my husband. He has done everything possible to make me homeless and the courts have done little to nothing. I do not get it. I have most always been frugal but my attorneys are allegedly the best in the state of Tx. and probably the most expensive. This is why I am sharing my nonesense in hopes that my nightmare will bring others some comfort in knowing that they are not alone.

Where is the Justice?

During one of the court hearings my husband had taken me back to court on the basis that he was broke.  Earlier on in another court proceeding the judge had made it clear that I was not to receive spousal maintenance.  The judge also stated that I was to pay for all my household expenses to include the taxes on our home.  We have some rental entities and the judge allowed me to receive the income of those entities.  I was to pay the loans that were attached to one of those entities and to not have any contact with my tenants.  The judge allowed my husband to be the contact.  This did not make sense.  Nonetheless, after all this was said and done.  My husband could not stand the fact that I had some income coming in…finally.   My husband is to pay child support but chooses to only pay it when he feels like it.  Anyhow, on this one court date my husband presents these documents where our company had made 11 million dollars but it had all been spent and now he needs the funds that I have coming in.  WHAT???

I was shocked that the judge would even entertain this request.  I was incredibly disappointed when she does.  The judge took  away my right to renegotiate new leases between the entities that I was receiving funds from which sit on my soul and separate property.  The property had been gifted to me by my ex-husband in lieu of child support.   I do not understand what the judge is thinking.  Why is she slowly but surely taking away everything from me.  I have never been in trouble with the law;  I am a Texas State Veteran,  a Prior Police officer, School Teacher, licensed Principal, licensed Counselor, and have never behaved in any kind of inappropriate  behavior.  I am pillar of my community.  I do not understand where the justice is in all this.

My husband is not broke.  He drives a very luxurious truck and spends thousands of dollars on clothing, dining, recreation, and travel.  We have had to exchange view only passwords to our personal accounts and we each have an accountant that provides each party with a break down of where we are spending our monies.  In one month he bought four Rolex watches and a boat.  All my money goes to pay for my attorneys, forensic accountants, accountants, and whatever is left I spend on my children.  I am standing on a mountain and I am screaming “WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?”

Keeping my sanity

How have I kept my sanity through this divorce? 1. I give thanks to God for all his blessings that he has bestowed upon me. 2. I give thanks to God for my children’s health. 3. Every day I praise God and I ask for peace in my heart, my home, and to allow me to take comfort in my children. 4. Every day I say the serenity prayer.. God grant me serenity to accept the things that I can not change, Courage to change the things that I can, and Knowledge to know the difference. 5. I have never spoken ill of my husband to my children. 6. I have not discussed in detail the difficulties nor the damages that my husband has brought upon me. 7. I know that what I am going through or I am facing is small in comparison to the many other trials that so many other families are faced with. 8. I make myself get out of bed every day and love every one that crosses my path. 9. I take each day slowly and ask God to guide me in the direction that he needs me to go into. 10. I pray with my children every morning and night and let them know that I love them with all of my heart.

“Operation Take Down Fence”

The second fence had cemented screws so I had to use the skid-loader.

Coming home every day from work with the kids always kept me in suspense.  I never knew what to expect.  This one day I came home to a tin fence erected from one end of the driveway all the way down passed the children’s play-scape.  My husband had built this awful junkyard tin fence to create a barrier from the house and the office.  I guess his intentions were to further keep me in the dark as to everything that was taking place with our entities.

At first I kind of thought, “so be it”.  I was not too worried about it and quite frankly I found a small bit of peace knowing that they were not going to be focused on my every movement and nor was I.  Little did I know that my children were going to be terribly upset with this, “Great Wall of Balderas ” as they would often refer to it.  My 5-year-old daughter was the one who was most upset.  She cried and said, “mommy, I can’t see the other side.  I can’t see the pond and the beautiful ducks swimming in the pond.  How are we going to sit at the pond and tell about our day and wish upon the stars?”.  I did my best to console her and offer options such as painting flowers, rainbows, and whatever our hearts desired on the fence.  My daughter would not have it.  She wanted the fence down.  She cried and I cried and we all cried, and I told her, “mommy will take the fence down”.  It took me almost 16 hours  to take the fence down screw by screw.  When it finally all came down I was proud of my accomplishment and my daughter admired me as though I was some heroin.  I was her superstar.  Unfortunately, a few days later the fence was back up.  Again, my children wanted it down.  This time was not as easy as the first.  My husband made sure that the screws were cemented in and could not be taken out with a hand tool.  So again, I made it up in my mind that this fence would come down.  I took our skid loader and brought it down!

This is my office that the judge has  set an injunction preventing me from entering.

This is the pond where my children and I would often end our day at.  We would sit and talk about our day and wish upon the stars.

Court

Coincidentally my electric panel to my home was ruined. The deputies took pictures and to this day nothing has been done.

After filing for divorce the court has allowed me to stay in my home with my children.  It is torment having to stay in my home.  We have our office building 14 steps from the end of our sidewalk.  The judge placed an injunction preventing me from entering my office because of the existing relationship that my husband has with his secretary also known as his mistress/paramour.  It has been difficult to see the both of them parading about as though EVERYTHING belongs to them.  My BIGGEST mistake was never putting my name on all of the accounts.  He has monopolized all of the monies.  I could not believe that the judge would have placed an injunction keeping me from knowing what is going on in my office.  I had helped financially and laboriously to establish our entities and now because I am a school counselor I was deemed invaluable to the every day operations of our entities.  Since this injunction my husband’s mistress has established an entity of her own utilizing all of our facilities, employees, resources, and gets to profit and keep all of the monies.  My husband testified to this in court.  I don’t get it.  What in the world is going on?

Since the house has been rendered to me my electric panel has been completely ruined and run over, my septic tank has been filled with sand, gravel, and cement causing it to back up into my home, my water meter has been buried under two tons of gravel smashing the meter and pipes, and two shot-gun holes have been shot into my second story game room window.  With every incident I have reported to the sheriff’s department and they have come out taken a statement and nothing has yet to be done.  I have made it clear to all of the local law enforcement agencies that if I turn up missing I am not on vacation.  My husband has violated every injunction and court order and has yet to be reprimanded.  What’s the purpose of injunctions and court orders if there are violated and there are no consequences?